An
interview with Kate Wolfe-Jenson about her book, Dancing with Monsters
by Barbara Brooks
BB: On page 90 you wrote, “When people suggest I am sick by choice,
I get angry. I don’t entirely disagree with the thought, but
I get angry nonetheless.”
This has been a long journey for you with MS—what are your current
thoughts regarding how or if we create our own reality?
KWJ: I know from experience that my mood and
my thoughts affect how I feel physically. The idea that I got sick
because I'm so good at
negative thinking is really not useful to me. Part of what I'm good
at his guilt and laying on an extra layer of it that says “if
I had been a more positive thinker, I wouldn't have gotten sick” doesn't
help move me toward life and healing. My attitude colors my reality,
but I don't believe it creates it.
BB: You wrote, “As a visible minority, I’m always
afraid I’ll blow it for the home team.” As you were writing
this book, how aware were you of that responsibility to others with
disabilities and how did this factor in or affect your book?
KWJ: I honestly didn't think about it
much as I was writing. Writing, for me, is a way of working things
out. It's a way of conjuring
up
my best self and letting it speak to me. I was aware, as I was putting
together the final form of the book, but I really wanted to speak the
truth. Disabled or not, we spend so much time putting up a good front
that we end up feeling alone. I wanted people reading the book to be
able to say to themselves, “yeah, me too.”
BB: How was the process of writing this book therapeutic for you?
What did you discover about yourself?
KWJ: Writing is always therapy for me! It's the way I figure out
what I'm thinking and feeling. It's the way I reach for meaning. I
guess
I discovered an inner wisdom and resourcefulness that I can rely on
if I can get there. If I'm really low, reading my own book can help
remind me about that more resourceful part of myself.
BB: You discuss a variety of coping techniques (and creative experiments)
in your book—
Which has been the most effective in helping you escape your monster
mind and live in the moment?
KWJ: I gravitate toward writing and painting,
although these days a lot of my “painting" is on the computer.
If I'm writing, I'm figuring things out. If I'm painting, I'm in
the moment. Music
puts me into the moment too and being in nature is great for pulling
me away from the monsters.
BB: Could you describe for the reader how you chose
the illustration for the book cover? What drew you to the metaphor
of dance?
KWJ: Well I wanted to have my artwork somewhere and the cover was
a natural place to do it. It was a fun family project. I had a picture
in my mind of what it should look like. My family went out in front
of our house on a late winter day. Alexis had a big old work glove
on her hand and we did different dancing motions with our hands while
my husband took photos. Then later I used the photo as a place to start
with the painting of the monster hand.
As far as why dance: dance and I have had a strange relationship
for my whole life. When I was young and growing up I was too self-conscious
to dance. Then at some point in my 20s I finally got that it wasn't
about how you looked it was about enjoying the movements of your body
to the music. Ralph and I would go out with a group of people to hear
a local bar band, the skunks, and I would dance. (Ralph doesn't dance.)
I have some pretty poignant memories of dances
in addition to the one that opens the book. The last time I was able
to stand-up dance,
I
danced with a friend who died a few weeks later of diabetes complications…
BB: As author and artist—what books are on your bedside table?
To which genre are you most drawn?
KWJ: Reading fulfills different purposes for me.
For relaxation, I turn to fantasy and mystery
books. At night, I listen to Terry Pratchett books as I go to sleep.
He's a humor fantasy
writer.
I'm in the middle of the Twilight series because my daughter said if
I didn't read them she would never speak to me again.
For what my father would call “research,” I
read books people write about illness or disability. I’m reading Always Looking Up by Michael J. Fox and The Diving-bell
and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique
Bauby. (I'm trying to read that one in French so it's taking a good
long time even though it's a short book.)
Many of my coworkers are “good writing” fans. We have a
table at work for books we’re willing to share. I just dropped
off Eat Pray Love, which I read because I saw Elizabeth Gilbert on
a TED video and loved what she had to say about the creative process.
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